How the Best Friends Approach Transforms Memory Care at Era Living

Maya Angelou once famously said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

No matter where we are in life, the feelings that come from human connection can guide us, inspire us, comfort us, and calm us.

When memory begins to fade, this need for human interaction still holds true. Dementia changes memory — but it does not erase the need for connection.

This focus on connection is the essence of Era Living’s “Best Friends” approach to memory care. These services provide a secure and enriching environment for residents living with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. They are offered through The Terrace at Ida Culver House Broadview and at The Gardens at Town Square.

What Is the Best Friends Approach?

Virginia Bell and David Troxel developed the Best Friends approach during the 1990s. It is based on the belief that what a person with dementia needs most of all is a “best friend.” This could be a spouse, a family member, a friend, or a professional caregiver who remains loving and positive.

At Era Living communities, the Best Friends approach to memory care emphasizes dignity, empathy, respect, and purposeful engagement to help residents feel safe, supported, and valued.

The Life Story: The Foundation of Connection

Each person’s life story is different and special. Has music or some other passion been a big part of their life? Or do they have certain family or career experiences that they treasure? To help our team better know the residents in our memory care communities, we invite families to complete life story workbooks for their loved ones.

With this deeper knowledge, our staff can better tailor conversations, activities, and care to each resident. For example, maybe they loved having company and would like to help set the table at mealtimes. Or maybe they would find comfort in talking about a favorite holiday or pastime. Getting to know them honors their individuality and promotes a stronger sense of belonging.

Communication That Builds Trust

Finding positive ways to communicate can help build trust for individuals experiencing dementia. As long as health and safety aren’t at risk, it can be helpful to avoid over-correcting and turn “no” into “yes” when possible. Also, asking questions like “tell me more about that” can provide a chance to reminisce or spark social engagement, which can be comforting.

Other positive approaches can include minimizing distractions and using a loved one’s preferred name (which can foster trust and dignity). Additionally, providing simple choices (e.g., which sweater to wear that day) and asking loved ones for their opinions can be empowering and remind them that you value their feelings and input.

Understanding Behavior: It’s Communication

Behavior is not random — it communicates a need. For example, behaviors like aggression or repetitive questioning may signal feelings such as fear, pain, overstimulation, too little rest, or depression.

Within Era Living’s memory care services, we look for root causes, not quick fixes. For example, is there a physical issue that needs to be addressed (e.g., arthritis pain, an infection)? Or does the noise in the environment need to be turned down?

In addition to addressing root causes, other activities such as listening to music, going outdoors, or visiting with pets can be powerful regulators.

The Power of Purposeful Activity

Research shows that having a regular routine can be good for individuals with dementia. Some benefits can include reduced agitation, improved mood, and more time doing activities that provide meaning and enjoyment.

Within Era Living’s memory care services, residents can find programming that promotes cognitive functioning and brings happiness and enrichment to daily living. These may include activities like singing together, hand massage, noticing birds outside, wrapping presents, and listening to music.

The “Knack” of Great Care

There’s a philosophy called “the art of doing things with ease.” It happens when people approach challenges with a calm and present state of mind. Rather than pushing or forcing a situation, they overcome obstacles with trust and acceptance, focusing on what matters most.

For example, one Era Living team member recalled helping a resident who refused to eat. With empathy and patience, she sat with him and gently coaxed him into eating small bites of yogurt. In this way, she supported and guided him as a caring “best friend.”

How Can Families Be Best Friends to Their Loved Ones?

If you are facing an Alzheimer’s diagnosis or caring for a loved one with dementia, you’re not alone. These life events happen without a playbook, and it’s important to give yourself grace as you navigate the path forward.

One way that you can be a best friend to your family member with dementia is to celebrate life stories. Whenever possible, offer affirming words rather than corrections. Create rituals, spend time outdoors, and do projects together. It could be something as simple as sorting socks, coloring, or watering plants. Another idea is to sort through pictures or make a memory box with comforting items from the past.

Discover Era Living: Memory Care That Feels Different

When someone feels safe, secure, valued, and engaged — everything goes better. That’s at the heart of Era Living’s Best Friends approach to memory care.

Our memory care services provide a secure, home-like environment and compassionate staff that embody the Best Friends philosophy. Each resident receives personalized care, help with daily activities like bathing and dressing, and a supportive environment with purposeful activities. For couples with differing needs, access to other levels of care in the same community can provide a way to stay close by to one another while getting the individualized support and enrichment each person needs.

If you’re considering a Seattle retirement community, we’d love to connect with you. Era Living provides eight premier retirement living communities throughout the greater Seattle area. Along with memory care, our senior housing options include senior independent living and assisted living.

Please contact us if you’d like to arrange a visit or learn more about our services. Also, be on the lookout for more memory care resources to be released throughout the year.