The Daily Traffic Check: A Simple Tool for Supporting a Loved One With Dementia

Caring for a loved one with dementia is a journey — and the terrain is constantly changing.

As Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia progress, they can impact more than memory. They can also change people’s personality and how they behave. As a result, symptoms such as agitation, trouble sleeping, wandering, and hallucinations can be common.

In these moments, it can be helpful to recognize that your loved one may be communicating something about how they’re feeling. The “Daily Traffic Check” is a tool that you can use to help navigate challenging situations and nurture meaningful connections.

What Is the Daily Traffic Check?

The Daily Traffic Check is a care approach that encourages you to “stop, look, and listen” to your loved one’s behaviors before immediately reacting.

Renowned experts David Troxel and the late Virginia Bell highlight this concept in their Best Friends™ Approach to Dementia Care. This philosophy emphasizes love, empathy, respect, and positivity. It also encourages people to step into the perspective of loved ones with dementia in order to meet them where they are.

Using this mindset in Daily Traffic Checks can help you identify why your loved one may behave the way they do. This can help you address root causes and provide reassurance in challenging times.

Why Behaviors Change: Becoming a Detective

Communication can be difficult for people experiencing Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Often, a change in behavior can signal what they are feeling but are unable to express.

Gillian Mukula, RN, Area Community Health Director at Era Living, shares how her team may experience this with residents in memory care.

“A good example may be a resident refusing medications. This does not mean the resident is non-compliant; they may simply be confused, anxious, or overwhelmed. It takes a skillful and empathetic staff member to look, listen, and validate the resident’s feelings. [This] is felt by the resident, and trust is built before that resident can accept medications from that staff member.”

A resident’s agitation, resistance to care, or frequently yelling may also be a form of communication,” Gillian adds. “A resident may be experiencing some sort of discomfort, fear, hunger, or fatigue.

Guidance for Understanding Behaviors

Whether you are interacting with your loved one at home or in a memory care setting, it can be natural to have questions or become overwhelmed when certain scenarios arise.

“Our role as trained staff is to help families understand the behavior and the plan of care for each resident,” Gillian says. Some ways to support loved ones with dementia include:

• • • Validating their feelings rather than arguing.
    • Managing their stressors by following the care plan.
    • Showing empathy by entering their world and preserving their dignity and independence as much as feasible.

Reading the Traffic Light

In addition to helping you identify the root cause of certain behaviors, the Daily Traffic Check can also help you determine the level of concern. One way to think of this is to envision a traffic light with assigned colors for each behavior. Using this can help you decide when to proceed confidently and when to seek additional support.

Here is a description of what different colors on the traffic light may signify (excerpted from The Best Friends Staff: Building a Culture of Care in Alzheimer’s Programs by Virginia Bell, David Troxel, and Tonya Cox).

• • • Green represents behaviors that communicate “all is well.” Examples include laughter, smiles, participating in activities, a healthy appetite, responsiveness to staff, attention/hugs/touch, and adequate sleep.
    • Yellow signals behaviors to monitor. They may be temporary but can continue if physical or environmental issues remain. Examples include changes in energy, not doing favorite activities, changes in personality, changes in eating patterns, changes in bathroom habits, increased anxiety, facial expression that seems sad or pained, and changes in sleep patterns.
    • Red indicates behaviors that are of great concern and need immediate attention. Examples include sudden changes in behavior, pacing, refusing meals, crying out, seemingly in pain, shuffling of feet, sudden increase in incontinence, and sleeplessness.

Want a quick reference? Download our free Daily Traffic Check Guide, a simple one-page resource you can print or keep on your phone. It outlines the Green, Yellow, and Red behaviors at a glance, making it easier to recognize changes and know when it’s time to seek additional support.

During Challenging Moments: Small Approaches That Can Help

Staying positive and keeping requests simple can help support positive communication.

When challenging moments arise, resources like the Family Caregiver Alliance® and David Troxel’s video on managing dementia-related behavior provide practical strategies, such as:

• • • Connecting, distracting, and redirecting (e.g., “I see you’re feeling sad — I’m sorry you’re upset. Let’s go get something to eat.”).
    • Remembering the good old days (e.g., turning to the person’s life story as a topic of discussion that can provide comfort).
    • Maintaining your sense of humor.
    • Providing reassurance (e.g., not correcting but letting loved ones know you are on their side).
    • Getting support as a caregiver and remembering that you are not alone. (The Alzheimer’s Association can be a good resource.)

Daily Traffic Checks as Part of Era Living’s Memory Care Approach

As part of Era Living’s expansive senior living services, we provide two dedicated memory care communities called The Terrace, at Ida Culver House Broadview and The Gardens at Town Square. Both utilize Daily Traffic Checks as part of the Best Friends Approach to care.

Our team sees this approach not only as a way to provide better care, but also to help build trust and put residents at ease.

Gladys Kalimukwa, manager of The Terrace at The Gardens at Town Square, recalls a resident who experienced a gastrointestinal issue shortly after moving to the community. The team quickly worked with nursing and a primary care physician to respond to the resident’s discomfort and get the condition treated and relieved.

This resident knows that when there is a problem, the team will jump on it and find a solution,” Gladys says. “The resident used to be anxious, but because of the trust that has been built, this resident has less episodes of anxiety.

Looking Beyond the Behavior

With Daily Traffic Checks, the goal is not to control behavior, it is understanding and supporting people with dementia. When you learn to stop, look, and listen, you can improve your loved one’s quality of life and discover moments of connection that you may otherwise have missed.

With nearly 40 years of experience caring for older adults, we understand how important it is to stay connected in all stages of life — and we value the opportunity to support our residents and families in their journey.

Era Living provides eight premier retirement living communities in the greater Seattle area, including memory care in our Terrace locations. Our senior housing options also include senior independent living and assisted living.

If you’re considering a retirement living community in the Greater Seattle area, we’d love to connect with you.

Please contact us to arrange a visit or talk with one of our team members to learn more.